''Loomis'' Volume One

Well....My brothers...and sisters...

It has recently occurred to me that sting rays are not nearly as docile as originally perceived, and that when placing chickens in brown paper sacks to free them from the tyranny of the forest, it would expedient to do so during a full moon, if at all possible.

In other news, my latest theatrical endeavor, ''Back to the 80s'' came to a close on March 8th, and upon closing that chapter of my life, I proceeded to sojourn to Gatlinburg, Tennessee for Spring Break.

Having nearly completed ''Breaking Dawn'', I must admit that the 'Twilight' virus is catching, and oh my brothers, have I been infected...

Upon hearing that King Sani I of Africa will retain his throne in July of this year, I immediately embarked on a failed expedition to procure plane tickets to the 02 in London....no such luck this time...however, I do hear the Lotus Flower is in full bloom in Minnesota this time of year, so I do have at least THAT to look forward to.

In the area of Romance, I have developed a very strong attachment to a certain young lady who shall remain nameless, my affections for her have come on quite fast, still I do believe that they can last....;) All of this despite certain deviant tendencies and the brightness of the stars....

When it comes to education, I must say that prospects are looking, or rather, facing upward at the moment, primarily do to my perseverant attitude and propensity for enjoying 1,000 word papers. =)

Roxanne, where are you? I'll never know...that blasted organ grinder...this little red love machine's got a flat....But as long as the ocean of violets is in bloom, the rain need not be purple and your beret shouldn't be raspberry. You'll never know anything about my home...oh no...here I go again, fallin' in love all over, ooh the cycle never ends, you just pray ya don't get burned....

With such delusions don't it make u wanna scream?
Your bash abusin' victimized within the scheme?
You try to cope with every lie they scrutinize...
Oh father please have mercy, cuz I just can't take it...

Remember my friends, ''Nothing is real if you don't believe in who you are.'' So believe...regardless of what the world tells you....are we gonna let the elevator bring us down? Oh no, let's go!!!! (First one to the purple banana gets a cookie!!!!)

God Bless, much love, and so on, and so forth, and whatever...

Jake "Loomis" Sapp